


Mischief

by gunay38



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Phan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6985105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunay38/pseuds/gunay38
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil oneshot</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mischief

I don't think I remember a time when I didn't have these thoughts. The type of thoughts that flood your brain until it's the only thing that fills whatever's left in your empty shell of a body. You feel them in your hands,numbing your fingertips like ice, moving up your arms, then to your head until you become a drone of your own mindless thoughts. I don't think my life would be the same without them either.

It was crowded, full of people with screams surrounding us. We tried to greet everyone we could with a few peppy "hello's" and "we love you's" when we walked by trying to get away from the madness. I would have to admit that even though (almost) all of our fans are the nicest people in the world, it was still awkward and slightly jaw dropping to have thousands upon thousands of people adoring you. But one girl in particular caught my eye, bright red hair flowing down to her shoulders, freckles dotting her face like stars, and crystal blue eyes that practically anyone could swim in. It was almost impossible not to stare.

"Oh my goodness, this is the best moment in my life!" She blurted, clasping her hands just below her chin.

"I'm glad we could make you happy!" I pepped back, holding back my stutters as much as possible.

Phil, who stood opposite of me, could see with his own eyes my chest rising and falling with the tension that the suspecting fan and I held. After sharing a hug with the girl, a man, about an inch shorter than I was, took the girl's wrist.

"Damn it, I thought I told you to stay away from these people!" He shouted, but not loud enough to muffle the rest of the crowd.

"I'm sorry, sir," I extended my arms from my chest, as if expecting his irrational behaviour.

"Get away from my fucking daughter you creep!"

Phil discreetly took my hand, his fingers sliding perfectly into mine. I felt my heart pounding in my chest, staring into the girl's eyes for one last time. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted her hair in my hand with her blood coating my white walls. I don't think I was sorry. I was never sorry.

The bodyguard pushed us forward, my hand gripping Phil's hard enough to leave small marks when we walked away from the crowd of fans. Dodging the hands that occasionally blocked our path, the sound started gradually growing more silent until it no longer ringed in my ears. The bodyguard gestures his exit as we walk into a small alleyway, the smell of dumpsters and sewer fill my nose with the most pungent of smells and I wonder why Phil brought me here.

"Jesus Christ, Dan!" Phil shouted, his eyes practically a forest fire and his crossed arms accentuating his anger. But quite frankly, he looks just about as intimidating as a pink butterfly, the forced frown on his face just made him look cuter.

"Why were you eyeing that sixteen year old fan? That's like, pedophilia!" He continued, his expression growing more and more serious by the minute.

"It really doesn't matter," I held back, "I just, liked her...gingerness?"

"Liked her gingerness my ass, you were checking her out and you know it."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. In my peripheral vision I saw Phil's eyes light up, but turn to fire all over again. 

"It must of been those... Urges... Right?" My heart stopped when I heard him utter those words, "You can't have those in public, Dan!"

"You think I can stop this!" I finally cracked, "I've been having these goddamn feelings since I was a child, Phil. I am a fucking psychopath! It keeps me alive, and I wouldn't be myself without it, okay?"

Although this isn't my first time telling Phil about these feelings, he doesn't understand how they work. He knows that it's hard for me to forget about them, but I don't think he has quite established that I can't stop this, I can't turn this off. I can't stop myself from wanting to shoot people. I can't stop myself from thinking about how I want to gouge out people's eyes and smashing their bones so all they can do is scream. All I can do is take my medication and try to block them out again.

He looked stunted, his eyes losing the fury they once had and replaced with shock. "Phil I-I'm sorry." I set my hands on his shoulders, trying to reassure him with my touch. "I would never hurt you."

\---

We were sitting on the couch with my legs over Phil's. My head resting on his chest as he was playing my hair. It was surprisingly calming.

"So... Do you want to talk about it, Danny?" I shook my head, but I knew that we had to talk about it sooner or later. I didn't even realize I was crying until a tear fell down to my hands. I started to speak, the words tumbling out one after the other.

"I don't even know what to say or how to say it. It's not even an issue. It's just sometimes it all feels too much. Like, when I think about future or past. I feel stupid and I get this feeling of emptiness on my chest. I feel my hands shaking I know it's all in my head and none of it is real. but I swear it feels way too real." I stuttered, my hands reaching over to Phil's arm, gripping onto him for dear life. I felt like I was rapping from talking so fast but I didn't know how to explain it. I didn't even know if it was real for fucks sake. I mean, why would it be me? Am I faking it without realizing?

"No, stop thinking like that Dan." Phil affirmed, "You were mumbling."

I held on to him as I my sobs got louder. I didn't even know why I was crying, I didn't feel sad, I wasn't in pain physically. I turned my view to Phil, face blank, sporting no emotion. I felt guilty for making a boy who deserves happiness so much this sad. I felt like a burden and I thought he wanted to leave.

I let go of Phil, standing up and telling him that I needed air. I went to wash my face when I saw blood in my hands, under my fingernails. It felt weird and I felt it calling to me saying it could make all of the pain go. Phil started to knock on the door asking if it was okay. He brought me back and made me realize who's blood is in my hands. I walked and apologized to Phil for god knows how many times before he pushed me saying it was fine, and that he was fine as well. I looked at my hands and so did Phil. "I'm fine." He said, looking at me with a supportive smile.

Phil held my hand and helped me wash them, since I was almost frozen in place and couldn't control any of my actions. He was helping me and all I ever did was harm him. I looked at the holes in his shirt, it was was old and I knew he loved it, no matter how much he denied it. I opened my mouth to apologise one more time, but he held my hands and smiled so warmly that I couldn't speak. I wanted to kiss him, feel his lips on mine and thank him, buy him millions of little lions for him to pet. It wasn't that I was in love with him or anything it was just.. just that he helped me so much and I owe him so much and he never rubbed it in my face. Not even in our biggest fight. He was never anything but supportive and helping.

"Gosh no homo bro" Phil said laughing. I laughed and said   
"You're meme go home drunk." he answered. I love how we could just say random stuff and laugh. Phil pulled me towards my bedroom and said, "You need to find something to upload, it's been long enough since you last uploaded a video. "  
I shook my head and went to my bedroom. I was wondering what I could do but I couldn't find anything. I wanted to talk about my psycho thoughts but I've already done that and I don't want people to know what kind of a psychopath I am. I decided I'll film another one of my Internet therapy videos so I took my laptop and started to look through my mails. I found a couple good ones but then I saw one saying they were also psycho and that they could help me deal with it. I called Phil and read it to him.

"Hey Danny. I saw your video when I was babysitting and thought you needed help. Your thoughts are just instinct and if I'm right, I know how to shut it down. I can help you deal with it, but only if you do what I say to you..."

Phil laughed and said " Our fans really like to troll us don't they?"   
I smiled and said "But what if they can help? It doesn't look like troll nor spam."

"Dan,no. You are not going to take this seriously. You can include it in your mail video and mock it but you are not going to answer this. If you're not going to put it in then I'm going to delete it."  
I looked at Phil in a defeated way and mumbled something about making fun of it. I wasn't sure. I needed something I thought. Phil kissed my forehead and said   
"You're strong Danny. Stronger than you feel, stronger than you know. I know you don't believe me but I know you. I believe in you."

"But Phil what if there is a way out? Other than the sea of pills and a white jacket?" I said my voice slowly getting higher and higher as I was trying to convince him to let me do this.  
"Danny please, there are dangerous people out there. I don't want you to get hurt."  
"You can't break something that's already broken Phil. And what could be more dangerous than a man who's not afraid to kill, .....and desires it?" I was shouting at first but in the end I wasn't even sure I said it out loud.  
"Oh Dan-" before Phil could even start his sentence a text came to both of their phones, so naturally they checked it out. There was an address at my phone. I looked up to Phil. He looked like his blood was draining out of him. I asked what it was but he didn't answer. I started to shout his name but he wasn't responding. I took the phone out of his hands it had the same address. I felt the shivers down my spine but Phil didn't knew that the same text came to me so my has he gone so...so blanked out and scared? He said 3 days, mumbled to correct myself. He was so scared tho.

3 DAYS LATER  
I texted Pj that I was full all day and I could not meet him. I was thinking about that text again when my phone buzzed. I opened the text thinking it was pj but it was from a blocked number. It red

"Tv. Chanel 8"   
So I opened the TV and pressed the button 4. Yes I know Chanel 8 is on 4th row. Irony. There was some news saying that the little girl who was a victim of a hit and run had her older sister found dead in her death anniversary. Again irony. But this could not have been faith or an accident. I knew that much. My phone buzzed.

"Philly will be so sadddd :("  
"Like I give a shit lmao"

Who the hell was this. Di-did they-is this oh my. Is that the k-killer of the girls? Oh no. Oh hell no I gotta report this. But what will I say. I mean I can't just go and say the killer texts me. Also that could have been me. I would have been if I've never met Phil. I just can't. I will ignore it for now I thought as Phil walked in with just a towel hanging lowly on his crotch. I swallowed hard as I heard Phil ask what I was watching.

"A hit and run girls sister was found dead the same day 3 years later or something. Weird as shit." I answered just as Phil hit me with a pillow and yelled 'language'.

Phil s face went blank as he took a step back. I watched him run to the bathroom as he heard the names of the victims. It was odd but then it got weirder as a text came to my phone saying "He's crying you know. You should probably check him." I went to the bathroom and knocked on the door. No voices came at first but then a scream came. I tried to open the door but it was locked. I heard Phil crying. I broke to door to see...


End file.
